April 7, 2019
Going along with the notion of investing into another individual’s emotional bank accounts, whether those investments are large, or small, we are going to take a slightly different vantage point, that of mutual investments.
What do I mean by that?; simply stated, individuals investing into each other’s emotional bank accounts.
To illustrate the following notion, I’m going to speak at length of 3 stories I was going to make a video about on Instagram, though I never got around to it because (1) I was uncertain about how to jam-pack 3 stories into a short video, and (2) there’s just too many intricacies to talk about that I wasn’t sure how to convey all the intricacies without overlooking something.
Starting off, the first story features my old friend Sarah, who I met at Fox & Hound a long time ago. This establishment was a larger-than-average bar, which featured an array of games, from pool tables, darts, and other things. One night, while I was still a neophyte to the place, I showed up during a Yankee Vs. Red Game. I opted to arrive early and watch the game while I waited for friends at the bar. In any case, Sarah turned out to be the bartender, and long story short, we predictably started trash talking each other in jest and goodvibes. Yankees lost that game, and she was in cloud 9 due to all the trash talk. Anyhow, the next day, that’s when we became friends, all because of something seemingly inconsequential.
As soon as I get to the bar, I ordered my usual, and I didn’t notice there was a note under the food I ordered. I read the note, and it says, “I love the Yankees. I really REALLY LOVE THE YANKEES!” and this is written within a big red heart, made out of lipstick, with an arrow right through the Yankees name. If there was one thing Sarah was, was clever. Laughing instantly, I smile at her man in jest, and I show him the note, and say, “She loves me man, she really loves me.” He laughs, replying, “She loves everybody.” I really didn’t know how true that would turn out until years later. The friendship cemented itself while we left notes for each other lathered with as much trash talk and sarcasm as you can imagine. Sarah was the type of person that would always turn your day around. If your day was bad, it turned good. If it was good, it became great. And if it was great, you were in for a fantastic time. Those notes were the equivalent of cross-investing into each other’s ‘emotional bank accounts’, and over time we knew it meant a lot, though not until much later.
The second example involves one of my best friends Josh, who I’ve known for over ten years. One day while driving somewhere I receive a message from Josh that was right out of the video game Assassin’s Creed. I honestly thought the message was a poem, so I immediately replied with a poem right back, along the same lines about a brotherhood with a creed, and so on. I was blown away with excitement that someone I knew in fact knew poetry, since poetry is one of those things that, like books, not a lot of people appreciate. And even if they do, you would never know since it’s not one of those popular topics that gets the light of day.
This back-and-forth of writing poems to each other only cemented our friendship, and we quickly became great friends soon after. Every single day this happened for a very long time, and it showed the range a relationship can venture too under the most random of circumstances. Him and I still joke about being in a brotherhood and so on, at times reminiscing. The ironic part of all this is that, what he sent wasn’t in fact a poem, but we went along with it anyways since it was so fun. Besides the regular circumstances that help relationships grow, the main point was that those poems, those random notes we wrote to each other, were significant acts, ‘deposits’ that I will always appreciate.
The third story involves someone who I knew a long time and became my best friend eventually. Honestly, Arianna and I bonded because she was the person that told me the bad news about a circumstance that happened during those times, nigh 15 years ago or so. Anyhow, back then we as a society didn’t have a lot of options except leaving voice mail and so on if you couldn’t get a hold of someone. My recollection of what phones were capable isn’t precise, but all I remember was having a small flip phone and if you couldn’t get a hold of someone, it was either texts or leaving voice messages. Leaving a video-message like nowadays wasn’t really an option.
With that in mind, what took place was kind of random, like the above two circumstances, but it ‘changed the tide’ of our relationship from merely being friends to becoming best friends given everything that happened over the span of years. In fact, that transformed into us sending each other lots of letters overtime, letters that I still have and hold dearly to this day.
The main circumstance that took place was that, since I had a long drive at times, I opted to leave her a message because I was having a bad day – a really bad day. Since I wasn’t even close to finishing venting, I left another message, and another, and another, ‘till 45 minutes later, I was done venting.
Later that evening, I get like a dozen voice mails or so completely unexpected. I thought something was wrong because there were a lot of messages, you know; not at all. Arianna merely was being a friend, and when she was done giving advice, she went on to tell me about her day and so on. Here I thought that (1) something was either wrong, and/or that (2) she was going to vent herself when she was done since that’s the only circumstance at the time that I could imagine someone needed to leave so many messages (shows how close-minded my imagination was back then). From there, whether anything was wrong or not, whenever, at anytime, anywhere, if we felt like ‘talking’ to each other, and we couldn’t get a hold of each other or anything, we would just leave each other messages. In fact, one day she capped my inbox. I still laugh at the thought. Sorry, it’s just still funny because it was hours worth of talking. Not that I minded though, I appreciated it and still do more than I can convey.
It doesn’t matter though. Nothing beats hearing the voice of a friend, particularly a best friend and/or someone you care about.
Let me ask every single one of you this: how often can you just pick up the phone, and listen to someone’s voice? Not often, right? Even now, you have to talk to someone for that to happen. I value those random phone calls a whole helluva lot, and I miss all of them because all 3 circumstances might have started randomly, but they were incredibly meaningful.
All three instances served to change who I was by leaps and bounds, and only made me cognizant of the possibilities of life, which I honestly would never have considered in a million years.
In hindsight, how much are those ‘deposits’ worth? They are all priceless. You can’t put a price on that, on any of it.
I share this all because my life’s been a never-ending series of seemingly random circumstances that completely come out of nowhere, and before you know it, the neatest things that I never could have imagined took place. The ironic thing is that, those aren’t things that you can just make happen whole cloth.
I’ve tried doing all three things I did with each of those friends, with other friends, people I dated and so on, and nothing ever came close. In that sense, I think sometimes modern technology has cheapened the old sense of friendship. Not that friends need to do the above for people to be friends, not at all. Not even close. It’s just that a lot is taken for granted nowadays.
These days, everyone has a friend a text away, a phone call away, and that knowledge has made people take for granted relationships of all types, and you can often see it with how people treat each other. The most egregious example of this is how you will see a few friends, all ‘together’, and all on the damn phones. A. Long. Time. But hey, maybe that’s other people’s definition of friendship.
Each of us has to walk our own path, but that doesn’t mean that what friendship means to one person needs to be what it means to another, especially when, in the example above, it’s just so superficial.
Thankfully, not all relationships are like that. People come and go, but no matter what, the best will always have an everlasting impact on you. And for that, I’ll always be eternally grateful.
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About The Author:
Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.