“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for ever other relationship you have.”
– Robert Holden

Zy Marquiez
April 11, 2019

Though I venture around to different places to go for writing, today something noteworthy just happened at one of my favorite places nigh an hour ago.  I won’t mention the business because I don’t want to get my friends in trouble but today the type of ‘emotional transactions’ that fall under ‘withdraw’ that were handed out like candy on Halloween went something like this:

Withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-deposit-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-deposit-deposit-withdraw-deposit-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-&-deposit simultaneously-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw…and so on [1].

It got so bad that my friend and I had to put our headphones on.  There is a significant difference between honest to goodness constructive criticism and just tossing criticism grenades cheerfully like its no big deal as the person that critiques walks away with a smile on their face and the grenades detonate.  Who doesn’t love that.

The resounding effect was that the individuals working in the place and the customers were left highly discouraged.  One can have all the subtly in the world, but when people use compliments as weapons it’s hard not to notice.

One doesn’t often see the above type of instances since these are the type of ‘discussions’ one might see in a backroom of an establishment or business if there was any consideration for tactfulness.  Still, this circumstance is something that happens more often than it should and it reflects an individual’s moral compass.

This very issue has been discussed by my friends and I at length several times, though I was never subject to it in person at this place.  Most individuals have seen a version of this circumstance take place, whether to one person, or a group of individuals, but the effect is always the same: emotional bank account get drained to a considerable degree.   Heck, I’m a decent human being, and some of the stuff said would leave me closing that emotional bank account without a second thought [2].  Nobody should be treated like that.

It’s a pity instances like this take place because there’s really no reason for it if the individual carrying out these ‘withdraws’ was a being a decent caring human being in any way whatsoever.  The ‘perfect’ book in dealing with circumstances that comes to mind is How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  This book is timeless for a reason, it works.  Let’s remain on point though.

How you treat people matters.  Obvious, no?  Except, perhaps not, since it happens far to often.

Perhaps its someone’s upbringing, maybe its ego, maybe it’s just having a bad day, but the vanguard reason matters not for the results are the same.  If choice is available, and in the above example it always is, how is it hard not to choose being a decent human being?

All the above merely comes down to quality of consciousness.  How an individual is deep down inside at the being level is merely a reflection of their inner self.  Yes, not all instances are the same, not even close.  That’s why I was highlighting the one above and being very precise in not merely picking one instance between 2 random individuals, but one in which the same scenario took place repeatedly because one can see that the established pattern; this instance is not merely a one-time thing, like ‘having a bad day’.  Lashing out because someone ‘has a bad day’, while not pleasant to be a part of, is at least understandable.

But putting people down repeatedly establishes a sequence of events that (1) is not only pleasant to be around, but more importantly (2) drains emotional bank accounts when they shouldn’t.  That’s also the leading reason why some people have quit that place.

Simply put: if an individual puts people beneath them, as the above gem of a human being did, they merely shows what they will do to get to the top of the foodchain, the proverbial mountain.

The thing about mountains is, the highest peaks are also the parts that wither away the fastest over time due to erosion.  When that happens, the mountain remains for it is the very foundation.

And nothing beats an ironclad firm foundation, for it is the crucial component of any individual, of any group, any family, any community, any enterprise and every society.

That is why it all comes down to the individual, for even though every one in this place has a reason to lash out when Darth Vader arrives, they choose not to.  That means everything for it is a reflection of who each of them are [3].

It is a reflection of what makes the world a better place, every single day.

[1] While the withdraw and deposit simultaneously might seem to be a joke at first blush, it’s not.  It was a ‘compliment’ (and I say this loosely) followed by an incisive critique.  If it was a fair one, that’s one thing, but really wasn’t.

[2] This doesn’t mean anyone should treat the person that carried out put-downs in the same way, not at all.  Just stating that simply because something can happen and is technically allowed, doesn’t mean one need to respond in like-fashion.   The scenario above is one of those in which an individual could often be seen just zoning out and ignoring what is being said since they know there’s no use to it and nothing positive is coming to the fore and could you blame them?

[3] Though, to be fair, I really couldn’t blame anyone that lashed out under said circumstance.

Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Consciousness – The Key To Life
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Bruce Lee On Conformity & Open-Mindedness
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Imagination Unleashed
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

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About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.