“Every morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most.”
– Buddha

“Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.”
– Jon Kabat-Zinn

“Always hold fast to the present.  Every situation, indeed every moment, is of in infinite value, for it is the representative of a whole eternity.”
– Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Breakaway Individual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 11, 2019

“Hey, Banagher, do you realize you look out into the distance a lot?”
“I do?”
“Yeah, like just now.”
“I’m not really looking at anything when I do that.  It’s hard to explain.  I guess, I’m wondering where – “
“Where your father is?”
“No, where I am.”
“Oh, sorry.”
It feels like no matter what I’m doing it doesn’t actually feel like I’m there.”
“I know what you mean.  It’s like you can’t put your finger on it but everything feels off.  I sometimes wonder if that feeling is going to keep growing stronger.”

The above conversation is from the anime series called Gundam Unicorn.  Yesterday, while organizing my home office, which has been in need of a serious overhaul, I decided to re-watch this series again.

After hearing the above exchange between the main protagonist and another character, it hit me: this is exactly how I often act and feel.  I’m not exactly sure what to think of it, but I know I mentally ‘zone out’ quite a bit, more so than I realized in fact.  It’s taken a few different people comment on it, or sneak up behind me to startle me for me to even notice it.

I am uncertain if it is lack of mindfulness, or what it is.  It’s hard to pinpoint for me, but I am merely trying to consider it just to make sure I’m not overlooking anything, which I’ve done in the past.

That said, I do realize that the last few weeks I haven’t employed mindfulness as much as I should.  This is because it would make me ponder my Mom’s health and my grandmas passing most of all.  Considering the fragility of life and how everything can just change in an instance is just something that always leaves me gloomy.  And honestly, that’s not something I want to think of since almost every time I do I end up feeling like I’m crumbling on the inside.

In any case, do any of you ever stare off often into the distance?  Everyone zones out, but I’m not sure how many people would do so often.  In such instances I have wondered what individuals think about, but I never truly asked that often.  I think I will begin doing more now.

I often wonder what prompts the mind to do such a thing.  I do realize that personally, this might happen more often when I am tired, but that need not be the case though.  In fact, my mind goes into this mode most often when I’m either reading, writing or at the gym.  Ironically, that’s also when my mind is usually most engaged, but it happens nonetheless.

I’m not implying that this type of zoning out is necessarily a bad thing, at least not with what I’m talking about personally, but it’s merely something for contemplation if anything.

And contemplation of life and each of its idiosyncrasies is one of the most captivating things that shows off the range that life entails, and if that’s not worthy of exploration and thought, what is?

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