Fraught With Despair | #Poetry | #Poem | #Prose | #Quote | #Writing | #Fear | #Darkness

Caught inside this tear of desolation that you couldn’t believe
You are fraught with despair – an abrasion you can’t conceive

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Zy Marquiez | The Lightning Baron
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Note:

This is about fear of losing my Mom.  The doctors say she’s okay, and she probably is, but they’ve made some masterful mistakes in the past, one of which was saying she was okay when she had cancer, and others glaring oversights as well.   I can’t help but be incredibly skeptical since nothing’s ever set in stone.

Secondly, I chose the picture above as a representation of the ‘Tree of Life’, which could be a symbol for my Mom, Mother Nature, and the like.  Even though it doesn’t technically fit the poem per se, I found more suitable than merely putting something darker since I’m trying to stay positive at least.

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Suggested Poems:

Path Of Darkness, Path Of Light
Frightening Wonder
The Kraken
Swarming Fears
Whirlwind Of Darkness
Astounding Wonder
Frightening Storms
Ocean Of Frustration
The Morrow Knows
Inking Desolation
A Heart In Despair
Sea Dragon
Days Go By
Grasping At Shadows
Words Are Like Swords
Skyquakes Asunder
The Sky Of Wonder Burnt Asunder
Dark Grays
Ghost Of Occlusion
Thunder Booms
Mist Of Dark Bliss
Frightening Forms
The Sparrow Chased The Morrow
Storm Of Worries
Onward Towards Rapture
Thunderbolts Of Fear
Aborn In Grays
Coping Deep Within
Tornado Of Fears
Wings Are Made To Fly
Daily Horror-Scope
The Allure Of Purest Darkness
The Sky’s Laughter Is Blight
Locked Up
Despair

A World Of Grays | #Family | #Darkness | #Life | #Abuse | #Obstacles | #Perseverance


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 16, 2019

I am writing the following due to a post on Instagram that was shared a long time ago that had to do with child abuse and so on.  I just finished reading that right now, which is why I am writing this.  That’s the ‘inspiration’ for this, if you could call it that.

I wrote a post long ago on Instagram called “Black Unicorns”, based on a topic that I discussed with a friend of mine many years ago.  The whole point of that piece was it was under the premise for my appreciation for women which became the metaphor for Black Unicorns.  That much was obvious, what wasn’t obvious is what follows.

In my nascent stages of life, my family and I underwent significant and excruciating abuse.  This type of environment obviously tailors who you become, what your fears are, what terrifies you, who you trust, and so on.  The main part of all of this abuse stemmed from my father, which I have alluded to him countless times as being the ‘father of darkness’.  Conversely, I have alluded to my mother as the ‘Mother of light’.  Neither parent was perfect, but I appreciate both, though obviously my Mom by magnitudes more, but it was my father who chose to unleashed cataclysmic pain that no human being, yet alone a child should ever endure.

That dichotomy leads to me often feeling that I live in a world of grays, a subject which once again arose in my mind very recently.  Perhaps I will write about it again, though I am uncertain as to this time.

Grays, as part of the color spectrum, is something that is synonymous with storms.  Storms are a whole kaleidoscope of grays.  That’s how I’ve often felt in life, and many of the scenarios that took place after only cemented my kinship with the colors gray, silver, platinum, and the like.

More importantly though, I say all this because people that did not know me as a human being made an erroneous assumption about why I wrote that post.  Yes, that post was about women, as I said before, that much was obvious. 

What isn’t so obvious that the pyramid under which that post stands, the pyramid that is the constant support,  the walls that have provided a sanctum for my entire life, the very place where my spirit often rests, the foundation of the very person that I am, is my Mom.  At the top of the pyramid my trust for women, all women, stands, because I haven’t been fucked over as much by women, nigh ever, as I have been screwed over by men, mainly my fatherBut it was my mom who was always the foundation for everything amazing that followedMoreover, most of my best friends over time and still now have been female too, which only further reinforced my trust for women.

I didn’t plan on sharing this as it was on spontaneous feeling, but I share all this because I hope people in the future don’t end up misjudging others, whoever it is, without actually (1) knowing them, (2) knowing how their mind works, (3) knowing what the context is, but most important, (4) knowing what lead to that context. 

It’s easy to see the world in black and whites, but most of the time the world really is a whirlwind of grays; a whirlwind that is never-ceasing because a lot of what happens in life, is entirely subjective.

That is why I always bring everything down to ‘the individual’.

Everything we do, see and experience is entirely through our independent point of views.  These points of views, as I’ve often referenced, tailor every breath that we take, every step that we take, every road we will venture towards, and ultimately, the life that we live.

Perhaps a road will serve as a perfect conclusion for this, for never more will we see grays then on the road of life; the road that is littered with every single circumstance imaginable, all of which lead towards the future.

It’s on that road, the road of life, that we will witness countless storms, storms of every type imaginable, storms that are as wondrous as they are frightening, but storms that, at the end of the day, are paved in grays.

Fortuitously, it is within those grays, those storms that pour endless rain that water travels through and thankfully sprinkles the Earth with.

Water that brings life; water whose very essence is balance; water whose very being is interwoven within the streams of life more than any other element on earth.

And that world of grays up above is what helps it all along.

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Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Never Underestimate The Power Of Imagination, The Power Of Dropping Seeds
Stranger On The Moon
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How TV Robs You Of Your Life
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Imagination Unleashed
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

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If you find value in this information, feel free to share it.  This article is free and open source.  All individuals have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Zy Marquiez and  BreakawayIndividual.com

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About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.

Emotional Bank Accounts: Large Scale Withdraws | #Friends | #Friendship | #Love | #Life | #Trust | #Loyalty


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 12, 2019

There are significant reasons why I keep hammering away on this blog on why acts of kindness and goodness can be seen as deposits, because sometimes they help when a ‘withdraw’ must be made during a relationship.

Deposits into emotional bank accounts are incredible for various reasons.  These (1) move the quality of life of an individual across the positive spectrum, they (2) help relationships grow and flourish, they (3) strengthen the relationships in myriad ways, but they (4) can also make a crucial difference in someone’s life during key turning points.

The above reasons are why I always tell people I appreciate them when I feel it’s right, no matter how many times I’ve told the person and no matter whether I know them or not.  All acts of kindness move every type of relationship across the positive spectrum of growth and anything that can make relationships grow is a great thing.

Plus, who doesn’t like to know they are appreciated?  It’s a small act of goodness that goes a long way.

However, sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell a friend of yours they can count on you, they might think that you’re ‘too busy’ or ‘not concerned’ or find any other of a plethora of reasons.

Where am I going with this?  Follow along for a minute.

Say you – the reader – and I are friends.  We’ve been friends for quite a few years so there’s that bit of history that friends undergo, a bit of a positive emotional bank account built up.  Heck, let’s move this scenario up a notch, say we’re great friends.  Not merely acquaintances, not good friends, but great friends.  Not the best of friends, but surely not merely a run-of-the-mill friendship that can happen in modern day life with how loose the term friend can be bandied about with the advent of social media the last two decades or so.

Now, as a friend, you let me know often, definitely several times a week, “Hey if you ever need anything, it’s all good, no question asked, I got your back.”  Etc.  Etc.  It’s not unreasonable to think that I should be able to count on you, right?  Okay, that much should be obvious.

One day when you decide to text one morning and ask if all is well, I say, “Yeah everything’s fine.”[1] Hours later, I call you and I say, “Yeah, so, I sort of slipped and fell, and hit my head on the counter, and passed out for almost an hour.  There was blood on the counter, but everything’s okay.  I just went back to bed.  No big deal.

No.  Big.  Deal.  NO.  BIG. DEAL.  NO BIG DEAL?!?!?

I don’t know about how any of you would react, and please leave your opinions below because maybe I am overacting here but slipping and hitting your head is a big deal.  Passing out instantly?  INCREDIBLY BIG DEAL.  Making it seem like its no big deal?  EVEN AN BIGGER DEAL!

Actually, I am incredibly oversimplifying here; this problem is VASTLY more complicated than what I am writing about here for this type of circumstance and history goes back years.  I am simplifying to try and not be too verbose and get to the point.

The point: this is the type of circumstance that almost requires a (possible) large withdraw from an emotional bank account.  What exactly do I mean by this?  I mean telling something to someone they don’t want to hear.  I also say ‘possible’ in parenthesis because, some people will instantly be offended that you call them out on a mistake, causing a withdraw.  Others will in fact appreciate it because it shows you care about them, causing the act to be a deposit.

Now before we go on, there’s a distinction in the type of ‘withdraws’ people can make.  There’s the withdraws where people make a mistake (someone purchased the wrong item; someone didn’t help you out when they said they would over and over again; someone forgot your birthday; etc.) which leads to a ‘withdraw’ given the circumstances.  Conversely, there’s times where the withdraw is not caused by an individual having made the mistake, but by them being called out on it, whether that mistake is any of the above examples in parenthesis or others [2].  Who sees a given circumstance as a withdraw is incredibly subjective, but the above examples and their ramifications are always a distinct possibility in all relationships.  Whether the circumstances lead to a ‘withdraw or not’ it does or not is a different story.    Of course, these circumstances could be wider in scope, but let’s keep it simple.

Knowing all the above, how would each of you react as an individual?  I am uncertain as to how anyone would react to the above scenario, but it should be reasonable to see how a caring human being would at least be concerned (at the minimum) and/or possibly furious (in the worst case), and that’s totally understandable.  Heck, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to be concerned for a stranger that you saw slip and fall down on the street, would it?  Why would it be any different with a friend?

There’s a real possibility that person could have not woken up, especially given the blood loss that could have also kept going during sleep if that issue hadn’t been handled properly.  Even without the blood loss, REAL, BIG, DEAL.

Not going to sugar coat this, when this happened this person was told out right that they screwed up, and screwed up big.  And really, I don’t even care if a person reacts with a view in which the entire bank account being ‘emptied’ or even go into the negative.  It doesn’t bother me one bit.  What does bother me is how someone – anyone – could make a small deal about such a circumstance.  It is akin to your car shutting down in the drive way (no big deal) and your car shutting down right when you’re crossing train tracks with an incoming freight train torpedoing full steam ahead (BIG FLIPPIN’ DEAL).

The key takeaway is that while one could argue about which type of scenario might ‘require’ a withdraw or not, I’m not sure if there’s any bigger scenario then when someone’s life could possibly on the line, whether that is by concussion, blood loss, or any other issue.

If that’s not worth all the deposits you will ever make into an emotional bank account, I’m not sure what is. 

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[1] The word ‘fine’ is one of those words that is a clue that acts like smoke.  Sometimes it can merely be nothing.  But most of the time, it’s a spark that’s dropping in slow motion into an ocean of gasoline.

[2] If this seems confusing, to simply: some individuals will make the same mistake dozens of times over the year, and they see nothing wrong with it because that’s their mindset for whatever reason.  So to them, them making ‘withdraws’ is not seen as a traditional withdraw because that kind of thing doesn’t bother them.  Now, if you do point out those mistakes, and call them mistakes, then that would qualify as a ‘withdraw’ because they choose to get mad at that.  Sometimes the action is the withdraw, sometimes the reaction is the withdraw, and sometimes both action and reaction cause withdraws; it totally depends on an individual and the circumstances.

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Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Consciousness – The Key To Life
Why I Love Fridays
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Bruce Lee On Conformity & Open-Mindedness
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Poker & Life: Playing The Ignorance Card For Safety Reasons
Imagination Unleashed
IT’S A DECEPTICON!!!
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society