Emotional Bank Accounts: Trust | #Life | #Growth | #Change | #Friendship

“My love is unconditional.  My trust and my respect are not.”
– Anonymous

BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 31, 2019

After getting home today, I ended up thinking what an interesting concept trust is for many reasons.  The reason I even pondered such a thought was due to something that took place online.

Yesterday I ran into a thought someone shared that had to deal with trust.  Thence, while getting some work done it occurred to me that trust is one of the very pillars of emotional bank accounts.

Trust allows for relationships of all types to grow; trust fosters comfort; trust fosters a certain level of understanding, deeper understanding; trust allows for individuals to not get stressed out for whatever reason; trust, ultimately, is a significant deposit into emotional bank accounts.

The statement I read could be the equivalent, at least to me, of, “I-got-your-back-no-matter-what.”  That’s a level of trust that’s not easy to arrive too.  Was what I read intended like that?  I have no idea, though it seemed like it.  What I do know is that the statement was based on trust, which is the Rosetta stone of this blog post.

In all honesty, the statement made me think about a lot of things revolving around trust.  That’s the thing, trust filters in everything in life, so much so that it’s actually taken for granted at a deeper level.  This is because usually, we all give and take various levels of trust like candy on Halloween, and since this type of circumstance happens nigh on auto-pilot, not a lot of thought is given to it [1].  But trust has many ramifications that seep in countless directions.

Trust is what makes friendships grow; trust is what makes communities grow; trust is what allows nations to be established; trust is what ultimately allows progress to take place to the utmost extent.

Without trust, without one of the pillars of individuals and society, growth cannot be had; without trust, society cannot stand firmly upon its foundation.

And nothing great can stand too long without a proper foundation; for cracks will irrevocably take place within the foundation, and then those will affect the rest of the structure.

But don’t trust me on any of this, nay.  Trust yourself and find out if the above makes sense, and what other ramifications can be had from such a concept.

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[1] The fact that trust is handed out ‘easily’ might seem wrong at first blush, but let’s ponder a bit.  Don’t you trust a teacher, even without knowing them, with your child?  Don’t you trust a pharmacist to know everything about drugs, without ever questioning them?  Don’t you trust a police officer when they arrive on a scene?  Don’t you trust a politician to do the right thing?  Okay, am being facetious about the last one, since most politicians aren’t deserving of the level of trust that’s imparted at them, but the prior individuals are to some extent.

People don’t actively wonder if they’re going to trust a doctor, teacher, lawyer, pharmacist, etc. they just do itThat kind of blind trust can backfire more often than you realize, except it’s never seen from the lens of trust, which is why it’s never talked about, yet alone pondered at length.

____________________________________________________________

Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
What Do You Find Inspiring
Consciousness: The Key To Life
The Artist Of Eternity
25 Simplicity Quotes: Simplifying Aspects Of Your Life
Conformity Crisis: The War Between Conformists & Nonconformists
Never Underestimate The Power Of Imagination, The Power Of Dropping Seeds
The Artist & The Trance Of Inspiration
Stranger On The Moon
The Spectrum Of Balance
Mining For Inspiration
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Taking That First Step Towards A New Journey
My First Book The Twin Flame, Future Projects & More
Breakaway Individuals Throughout History: The Individuals, The Trailblazers & You
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
Mindfulness & Zoning Out
Mindfulness & Music
Meandering Mindfulness
Mindfulness Musings: Choices Made Out Of Fear & Love
How TV Robs You Of Your Life
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Trust
Emotional Bank Accounts: Dividends
Emotional Bank Accounts: Large Scale Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Investments
Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Emotional Bank Accounts: Account Closures
Emotional Bank Accounts: Anonymous Donations
Emotional Bank Accounts: Executive Decisions
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Poker & Life: Let There Be Range
Poker & Life: The Comfort Card
Poker & Life: Pulling The Mask Card
Simplicity For The Sake Of Health
Imagination Unleashed
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
Time Management: Eternity & A Day Will Never Be Enough
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
Infusing Energy Into The Individual
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
A World Of Grays
Mindfulness, Loss & Friendship
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

Simplifying For The Sake Of Health | #Mindset | #Health | #Mindfulness | #SocialMedia

“Our life is always frittered away by detail.  Simplify, simplify.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Simplify your thoughts, desires and life.  Complexities and confusion make a hell out of heaven.”
– Philip Arnold


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 30, 2019

What follows is part vent, part blog post on simplicity, but it’s going to be a bit longer than my usual blog posts.  Although it might seem that I am meandering a bit, there’s a logical sequence to certain steps I (and others) took yesterday across various social media platform.  More on that in a moment though.

Yesterday, I wrote about meeting someone that just moved here that was a family member, and that was my uncle.  We got to talking about a variety of things, but one moment stood out most of all.

Sometimes in life, while you are talking to someone you get to a point where the conversation takes a very serious tone, the type of tone when you just have to shut the @#!$ up and let someone vent their heart out; this was one of those moments.  I let him vent about his health, life, and him not having too much time left, and then the conversation leveled out to less dismal topics.  This conversation left me incredibly emotional, though I masked it rather well (I hope) and I knew I just wanted to go home.  Why so?

Because it reminded me of a circumstance that took place when I was much younger, though both scenarios aren’t exactly alike, but you will understand why it reminded me in a second.

In the early 2000s, I visited Puerto Rico for the first time since we moved as a family to Arizona.  In a nutshell, at one point I wanted to take a picture with my grandma.  And anybody that knows me personally knows that I hate taking pictures.  I don’t mind it, but most of the time I don’t (usually) like taking pictures for reasons I will not get into here.  And a lot of the pictures that I have taken are always on my phone, mostly pictures with friends, family and so on.  This is because if I do end up taking a picture, it means a lot to me, which is why the pictures always with me.  That, or you have to be one of my conniving friends (bless their hearts) and sneak a picture when I least expect it.  Taking pictures of friends?  Sure, I love that; I love photography in general, and I love taking pictures of my friends.  But I’m not usually in a lot of the pictures.

The reason I say that is because even though I hate pictures where I’m in them, I wanted really bad to take a picture with my grandmother when we visited; so you know, I had to want to take a picture with my grandma really bad for me to even bring it up.  That last day, for hours, I hounded her about taking a picture with her and she wasn’t having it.  Her reasons were, because she didn’t look ‘good’ and so on.  I told her that I didn’t care, but she wasn’t having it.  In any respect, I gave up because she was getting annoyed and I didn’t want to bug her any longer.  Now when leaving, I just had this overwhelming feeling that I would never see her again.  I had never had a feeling like that before, and I thought it was stupid.  In reality, I didn’t know when we (or I) would be back to visit, but I just felt really overwhelmed.  It turned out that she passed away a couple of years later, all because a medical mistake in which the medical personnel didn’t read a damn chart.

I’ve searched everywhere, but I don’t think I ever took a picture with my grandma, at least not one that I can remember.  I’ve gone through family photos and so on, and all I’ve seen are her and I when I was much younger, a baby for instance.  Anyways, the point of this whole (lengthy) preamble is that, although I do have a feeling I will see my uncle again, he’s already on borrowed time.

This whole scenario with my grandma flashed in my mind, which made it hard for me to keep my composure because well, knowing that someone’s ticket with the reaper has already been punched will make anyone sad, if not downright depressed.

After we were done having dinner, we said our goodbyes, and I went home (and couldn’t get there fast enough) because I just wanted to lay down and not think, not that that’s possible but I just had to get home.  I get home, and after changing my mind, I write the blog post that I did, which involved my uncle because that was my way of sort of venting on the issue, but I held a lot back as is evident now.

From there, I end up deciding not to lie down, and instead opt to get on a variety of social media platforms to see if I can just talk to some friends and vent.  Lo and behold, it’s nothing but fire and brimstone everywhere, people arguing over the most inconsequential and trivial things that, in the grand scope of things, don’t really matter.  What’s worse is how everyone were treating each other (or me) in a few respects, so I was about to make a call and get some friends to do our usual Facebook mass purge of all of our accounts as well as on other social media, but someone beat me to the punch and was seeing if we wanted to start a group on Skype to do it all simultaneously while catching up.

Before going on, why would it be important for me to purge accounts on many social media platform?  This is because (1) I have already lost a few friends this year and it’s been the toughest year emotionally speaking yet that I can remember.  Moreover, as mentioned before, (2) my uncle is dealing with stage 3 cancer that can’t be handled and is already on borrowed time, (3) there’s a family member in a coma (not joking) that my lovely father just happens to tell part of the entire family weeks later because (you just can’t make this stuff up) he “didn’t think it was important”.

Predictably, I’m till downright furious about that.  ANY family member being in a coma, HELL, ANY HUMAN BEING, being in a coma, is as real as it gets.  Not only that, but there’s also (4) the issue of my Mom’s health where she doesn’t seem to be getting completely better even though the doctors say “everything is okay” and “the cancer is gone” (we’ve heard that one before).  Lastly, (5) I have been out of remission with my disease for months, and any stress affects it greatly, which is why I often seek a mindful approach, as well as employ yoga when I can at home or the gym.

My own personal reason for purging (or muting) accounts was due to stress and my goal to simplify where I can in my attempts to regain my health and get back into remission.  I can’t be the best me if I’m not healthy, and I can’t be healthy if I repeatedly expose myself to things that are stressful, no matter how mindful I am, and expect for significant progress to take place.  These were the vanguard reasons for me purging accounts of myriad types yesterday.

With this personally in mind, myself and others all started on Skype, but when the room got really crowded we moved to Discord, and we just began purging accounts for 6-7 hours or so.  It’s exhausting removing hundreds and hundreds of accounts from multiple Facebook accounts that I use for activism and the like, dozens on Instagram, WordPress, Twitter, you name it.

I just wasn’t having it any longer, my health’s too important for me to subject myself to things I don’t have too.  Some people, the ones I’ve known for a long time, I either told the straight up that I’m muting them because x,y,z, reason, and they understood.  Others, if we didn’t know them in any way shape or form, or had never even realized they were on our friends list, then they got removed, while also removing accounts that are constant negativity for the sake of negativity; that was the main approach for myself and my friends.  And people that I ‘kind of’, ‘sort of’, knew, it was fifty-fifty based on judgment calls for me personally.

It’s not like I don’t care about some of these people, I do.  But the bottom line is that, to a great extent, we are a product of our environments, History and Epigenetics have taught us this much.    If you end up subjecting yourself to stressful situations, negativity, and lots of things that you don’t have too, it’s just going to have detrimental effects on your being on an overarching basis.

Given that, at an emotional level, my plate is incredibly full and I’m already significantly stressed about many circumstances, I’m just going to be incredibly selective to what I expose myself too.  It’s not that I don’t care or simply won’t talk to people and debate, or that I will not at all read things that might seem dismal and so on; it’s just that repeatedly doing so when there’s no need to doesn’t make any sense.

This year has already been incredibly tough, and I know it’s going to get tougher with time given all the above and more.  I just don’t want to get to a point where I irrevocably shatter and can’t pull myself back together again is all.

____________________________________________________________

Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
What Do You Find Inspiring
Consciousness: The Key To Life
The Artist Of Eternity
Conformity Crisis: The War Between Conformists & Nonconformists
Never Underestimate The Power Of Imagination, The Power Of Dropping Seeds
The Artist & The Trance Of Inspiration
Stranger On The Moon
The Spectrum Of Balance
Mining For Inspiration
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Taking That First Step Towards A New Journey
My First Book The Twin Flame, Future Projects & More
Breakaway Individuals Throughout History: The Individuals, The Trailblazers & You
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
Mindfulness & Zoning Out
Mindfulness & Music
Mindfulness Musings: Choices Made Out Of Fear & Love
How TV Robs You Of Your Life
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Trust
Emotional Bank Accounts: Dividends
Emotional Bank Accounts: Large Scale Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Investments
Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Emotional Bank Accounts: Account Closures
Emotional Bank Accounts: Anonymous Donations
Emotional Bank Accounts: Executive Decisions
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Poker & Life: Let There Be Range
Poker & Life: The Comfort Card
Poker & Life: Pulling The Mask Card
Imagination Unleashed
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
Time Management: Eternity & A Day Will Never Be Enough
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
Infusing Energy Into The Individual
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
A World Of Grays
Mindfulness, Loss & Friendship
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

#Quote Of The Day | #Mindset | #Friends | #Friendship | #Thoughts | #QualityOfConsciousness

“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.”
– Abraham Lincoln

Note: I absolutely love this take on dealing with people that dislike you or downright hate you.  It’s definitely a proactive approach, but it’s also an approach that extrapolates upon what a mindset of seeking common ground can accomplish with other individuals.

Emotional Bank Accounts: Executive Decisions | #Friends | #Family | #Life | #Help | #Obstacles

“As you grow older, you will discover you have two hands – one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
– Audrey Hepburn


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 10, 2019

For clarification purposes, in this blog post an ‘executive decision’ is simply when one person overrides the decision(s) of another or a group.

Under the right circumstances, one can end up using the term ‘executive decision’ with another person when the person is saying they want to go see movie A, when you know they will like movie B a lot more, so you make an ‘executive decision’ to override it.  They enjoy the movie more, that’s that.  Or, you choose to go somewhere, they say let’s go somewhere else, and that person overrules you because they know you’ll enjoy yourself more elsewhere and they are right.  This process has to be a balanced give and take though, for if not a person might just be a control freak and want to call the shots all the time and employing double standards.

Now follow two examples where individuals might make an executive decision when it really matters.

In the first example I will use myself being on tilt in poker, which is an egregious mistake.  If you play poker for any decent given length, you will experience tilt, which is letting your emotions and anger (when you lose) override your logic and mindfulness, and instead of playing holistically, you just play downright stupid.  When I first began this happened now and then, but thankfully it was something I was able to learn, though slowly.  There is no way on earth I could have played for a living without mastering this aspect of emotional control.

Now, in poker there are bad days, and there are really bad days.  This is what separates poker from traditional work by a considerably margin.  In traditional jobs, you show up, you get paid.  Even if you’re having a bad day at work, your worst day ever, you always get paid.  In poker, that’s not the case, not even close.  Often, you can go days, weeks, or sometimes months without making money, but that’s usually more extreme scenarios, or if you play pot-limit Omaha for instance, since the swings your bankroll takes are massive.

Long story short, there was one time I was playing $200NL and was down a lot of money to one person, and was playing optimally at first.  After getting eviscerated for hours, I was letting it get to me, and sure enough, my friend could see me visibly upset, angry, frustrated, basically playing like an emotional tornado to the nth degree.  He did what any good friend would do, pointed it out, put his foot down, and I stopped.  It took a lot of convincing because I was down a few thousand dollars to this one player, and he was atrocious at that, but that doesn’t matter.  What mattered is that I wasn’t in charge of my mind, I wasn’t playing mindfully.  I quit soon after that.  We would do this for each other, or for other friends, and things would turn out okay.  Worst case scenario though, you lose everything, your entire bankroll, which really sucks and it’s something I went through a few times early on, which only cements the lesson of how important it is to be in control of your emotions in the game of poker.

The second example where you might undertake an executive decision would be when someone is drinking.  If you know somebody has had too many drinks, you can (1) ask them to take a cab home, (2) you can drive them home yourself, (3) ask for the keys, or if it comes down to it (4) take the keys yourself.  I’ve done all those 4 with people and never regretted it once.  At the time, it might cause friction if the person has had too many drinks and the person isn’t thinking straight, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry when lives are on the line.

Now, I open with those two examples because today I was in a situation with my Mom who was not doing too well health-wise.  Her health was really close to “We’re going to the hospital right now, let’s go.”  Let’s just say, it took a lot of convincing on her part but I told her that if she feels just an iota worse, we’re going no matter what; that, or if my instincts just felt the need to override hers for any given reason.

Usually, I wouldn’t be so pushy and take her word for it, but given that a few weeks ago she waited half a day before mentioning that she slipped, smashed her head on the counter and passed out, saying she didn’t mention it because it didn’t seem like a big deal and so on was really bothersome when it happened. And now, after losing my grandma not long ago, I’m even more afraid of the reality of her having significant health problems spiral out of control.

I mention all this because making ‘executive decisions’ between individuals, when the situation is crucial, can be complex and life changing.  It can also be balancing act though.

If I’m playing poker, and I get upset after losing some hands, and it’s clear that I’m visibly upset, am I going to regain my composure, or am I going to let my emotions spiral out of control requiring?  If someone is having a drink, when is one drink, one drink too many?  With health, do you wait for the person to heal, or do you risk it?  Do you even know the problem(s)?  Those are fine lines if there ever were any.

All of these scenarios are entirely subjective, and that’s what makes them even more complicated. Whether it is one more poker hand, one more drink, or one more hour of someone’s health deteriorating, there is always an incredibly fine line that once crossed, only becomes that much harder to get back too, if at all possible.

I’m just thankful that as of now my Mom is doing better because I don’t want to think what would have happened otherwise.  She seems to be doing fine though, so I’m thankful for that.

I would like to hear your opinions on these types of instances, or anything similar.

Where exactly is that line where a certain scenario goes from bad, to worse?  When is that moment someone must intervene because you realize if you or someone else doesn’t, then the person’s life or livelihood could be on the line?  How do you know when the time is right?  Or is there even a ‘right’ time?

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Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Never Underestimate The Power Of Imagination, The Power Of Dropping Seeds
The Artist & The Trance Of Inspiration
Stranger On The Moon
The Spectrum Of Balance
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Taking That First Step Towards A New Journey
Breakaway Individuals Throughout History: The Individuals, The Trailblazers & You
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How TV Robs You Of Your Life
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Trust
Emotional Bank Accounts: Dividends
Emotional Bank Accounts: Large Scale Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Investments
Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Emotional Bank Accounts: Account Closures
Emotional Bank Accounts: Anonymous Donations
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Poker & Life: The Comfort Card
Poker & Life: Pulling The Mask Card
Imagination Unleashed
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
Infusing Energy Into The Individual
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
A World Of Grays
Mindfulness, Loss & Friendship
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

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If you find value in this information, feel free to share it.  This article is free and open source.  All individuals have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Zy Marquiez and  BreakawayIndividual.com

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About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.

 

Emotional Bank Accounts: Anonymous Donations Revisited

“It’s funny how complete strangers can have familiar souls.”
– J. Iron Word


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 7, 2019

Two weeks ago I ventured to one of my favorite weekend writing places.  Admittedly, I used to go this place to just relax with friends and have a good time, and I still do, but now I mainly just go and do my own thing mostly writing and doing research while sometimes running into people I know.  I also enjoy this place a lot because the manager lets me bring my laptop in, which isn’t something some places will allow at nighttime on a weekend so I really appreciate that wholeheartedly.

When I walked in I didn’t expect this place to be too busy.  In fact, it was almost standing room only which kind of shocked me since it never gets that packed.  As such, I had to wait for my usual spot where I always end up in.  I could tell something was up given that half the people had Hawaiian shirts on.  After meeting a few people I find out that there was a wedding party with lots of people that had flown in from Chicago for the wedding.

While waiting for a drink, a seat happened to open up and I sat down on the bar.  After saying hello to the bartenders, I end up introducing myself to the man next to me while passing time.  Long story short, after getting to know each other for a bit, this man next to me, who was probably 5 years my junior, took nigh an hour and a half giving me a veritable crash course on places to venture for myriad reasons.

It didn’t matter whether it was coffee shops, restaurants, bars, or something else; he literally took the time to give me advice on dozens of places to venture too.  I told him I appreciated it greatly because (1) it’s always great finding somewhere new to go to, but more importantly (2) I’ve been searching for places to read, do research, write, etc. and it just so happens that he gave me more ideas than I could handle for weeks to come.

I mention all this because he didn’t have to do that at all.  Yet, he was incredibly (and thankfully) insistent on this.  I felt bad that we were discussing this when we could have been discussing anything else.  He wasn’t having it though; he just went on with suggestion after suggestion until we each went our ways.

I call this an ‘anonymous’ donation because he really didn’t know me, but was still willing to take well over an hour (while he was actually with friends as well) to help me find a new cubby hole.  It was really neat and I was blown away and I couldn’t thank him enough.

Friends taking the time to help you figure something out are fantastic, one of the best things friendships can offer.  But when strangers are willing to do the same?  Now that’s an emotional bank account donation if there ever were one.

When things at time might seem dismal, its instances like this that give me hope for society as a whole.  Little acts like this might not mean a lot to some, but to me personally they mean the world.

___________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:

How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Large Scale Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Investments
Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Emotional Bank Accounts: Account Closures
Emotional Bank Accounts: Anonymous Donations
Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
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Mindfulness, Loss & Friendship

“Friends are medicine for a wounded heart, and vitamins for a hopeful soul.”
– Steve Maraboli

“There is nothing on this Earth more to be prized than true friendship.”
– Thomas Aquinas


BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
May 5, 2019

The last few days have been a blur.

Ever since my grandma died, I’ve sought to keep my mind as busy as possible, and it’s worked most of the time.  Though keeping my mind that autopilot-focused usually personally leads me to getting more done, it definitely removes a lot of the mindfulness I usually employ.

It’s in that mindfulness that I make my best decisions, respond well to situations, and take a very holistic approach to instances (most of the time) while also being able to remain fluid to whatever happens.  Not unlike a navigator adjusting the sails proportional to the winds and using what could be a problem to become a solution.

With the unintended and yet detrimental removal of mindfulness from my mental routine the last few days through an autopilot process, it reminds me of how used to operate with Poker at a time.  Except with Poker, 90%+ of my personal autopiloting is somewhat detrimental, while at least here, it’s helping me cope.  That doesn’t mean it’s the best option, I’m not sure what the best option to coping is.  That said, not talking about losing someone and holding it in isn’t one of them, and that’s not something I’ve done at least.

The coping mechanism I believe I employ is very similar to my emotional mechanism, for lack of better words.[1]  In a sense, it puts me incredibly guarded to my emotions, much more so than usual, and I can see myself being a bit despondent and distant due to that.

Being cognizant of these type of emotions and others is something that gives me a starting point at least to move forward, and when junctioned with the fact that I realize I need to employ mindfulness, then there’s light at the end of the tunnel at least.

Moving forward, I’m going to attempt my usual streamlined approach of being Mindful as much as possible, while still allowing myself the latitude to disengage if my mind becomes mush as it’s been some of these last few days due to that emotional overload.

All the above is shared (1) to remind myself first and foremost that there are always options and options are great, and taking any one route, such as autopiloting, without considering others is just selling yourself short.  As well, (2) to help anyone else that’s dealing with loss realize that everyone copes differently, and that’s one of the best tenets human beings have.

It’s in our differences that we often find kinship.  Now, whether kinship stems from differences or similarities with others, the point is that nobody is ever truly alone, no matter how painstaking it feels when you lose someone, especially someone who you love so dearly.   It might feel like that, especially given that what we feel is our feelings, and not that of others.  The fact that we as individuals experience these feelings independent from others, regardless of what negative feeling it may be, often makes it feel like it’s only us, and just us.  Such isn’t the case.

As, John Reese once said in Person Of Interest:

“Everyone needs someone to talk to.”

And if a person – any person – cannot find someone to talk to after losing someone, then humanity is in a much more sorrowful state than I even though.  But humanity isn’t, and hopefully will never be.  This is where friendship and a genuine caring for others shine brightest.

For it is in the caring that others, that we cast a reflection of ourselves.  When we show someone else we care over and over and over again by our actions, it (1) not only carries out ‘emotional bank account’ deposits merely from being friendly and kind which will help the other person(s) be able to stay afloat amid the seas of life, but (2) it also shows your inherent nature deep down at the being level, within the core of yourself.  In other words, such actions show who you truly are as a person, as an individual.

While your spark might seem gone, or significantly diminished after losing someone, your inner spark is still casting light as it always be.  But at times, it doesn’t hurt, and in fact often helps, having someone else light another candle in the darkness; because nothing cast away darkness like light.

And nothing in this world cast light like true friendship.

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Notes:

[1] I realized that calling emotions ‘mechanized’ is problematic.  A better alternative as an adjective escapes me and it’s really early, so let’s go with it since I wasn’t being literal.

[2] I also realize that each of the subjects of mindfulness, friendship, and loss, could be tackled independently.  I chose not to in order to remain pragmatic while also letting what was on my mind flow naturally.

___________________________________________________________

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If you find value in this information, feel free to share it.  This article is free and open source.  All individuals have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Zy Marquiez and  BreakawayIndividual.com

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About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.