#Quote Of The Day | #Mindset | #Friends | #Friendship | #Thoughts | #QualityOfConsciousness

“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.”
– Abraham Lincoln

Note: I absolutely love this take on dealing with people that dislike you or downright hate you.  It’s definitely a proactive approach, but it’s also an approach that extrapolates upon what a mindset of seeking common ground can accomplish with other individuals.

Emotional Bank Accounts: Interest Rates | #Friendship | #Friends | #Kindness | #Positivity | #PositiveVibes | #Relationships

FriendsFamily

BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 11, 2019

Nigh a week ago or so, I ended that particular write up about emotional bank accounts with the topic of “interest rates”, totally jesting.  It didn’t occur to me until now about making that a ‘topic’ of discussion under emotional bank accounts until today.

Today I ran a friend that I run into every now and then that’s grown to become something of an older sister in my mind.  I even openly tell another friend that, who has known her far longer than I have, and he sees her just as so since that’s the trust she has garnered with him as well.

Anyways, today there was a circumstance that exemplified this notion best.  We began with catching up for a considerable time.  Thence, after speaking about her demotivational speaking and how that’s going, and I’m not saying this in jest, she literally is working on ways to demotivate people (don’t ask), we caught up for a while and then she got to venting.

There’s venting, and then there’s VENTING.  This was the latter.

The former would be merely having run-of-the-mill complains that help relieve steam, while the latter is the stuff that if you hold inside it’ll make you stew and turn green.  She went on to vent considerably, and when she was done, I followed suit and opened the release valve as well; she vented about something significant in her life, while I vented about my Mom’s health and my concern for her and her well being.

These circumstances are the type of things that aren’t planned but can be seen as the ‘returns’ that are accrued from consistently making ‘deposits’ into emotional bank accounts.  And while conversations in general can be seem as ‘no big deal’ at first glance, the fact that there’s a veritable industry around this very subject goes to show the significance of this.

What kind of ‘returns’ relationships of myriad types have is wholly dependent on time, effort, and so on, but often times these ‘returns’ help when you least expect them, and that’s why they are incredibly crucial.

An individual never knows when you might need to open a release valve where pressure has built to a certain point, and I sure as heck didn’t know I needed to vent about my Mom’s health again until today.

And believe me, that made all the difference in the world. 

My day (and hopefully hers) went from merely “wanting to get research and writing” done to steamrolling ahead like a locomotive.

That’s one thing about life, sometimes (1) not only do you not know you need to release some steam, but more important, (2) you might not realize how much you can help another person merely by lending an ear when they least expect it.

And while I am grateful for my friend lending an ear, I’m equally grateful for everyone who’s doing their part for their friends just like in the example above, for its little acts of kindness like that which make the world a better place.

Isn’t that what part of life is about, making the world a better place?

Who would have thought conversations could do such a thing?  But they do, they do all the time, it’s just not oft-considered.

The above circumstance is merely an example of Gandhi’s timeless quote:

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Change that starts with every single one of you reading this; change that is possible every day; change that happens every day; change that at times comes when you least expect it.

And isn’t it ironic that change is literally one of the things that accrues from deposits into bank accounts?

“How about them apples?”

___________________________________________________________
Author’s Note:

I really couldn’t resist using the last quote from my favorite movie of all time, Good Will Hunting. 

Good Will Hunting is really a fantastic movie all around.  It’s loaded with far more substance than modern movies are, and it has life lessons to boot.  In fact, it makes me feel emotional just contemplating it.  It’s really worth watching.  I’ve easily seen it over 100 times.

___________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Consciousness – The Key To Life
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Bruce Lee On Conformity & Open-Mindedness
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Poker & Life: Playing The Ignorance Card For Safety Reasons
Imagination Unleashed
IT’S A DECEPTICON!!!
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

Emotional Bank Accounts: Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!

“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for ever other relationship you have.”
– Robert Holden

BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 11, 2019

Though I venture around to different places to go for writing, today something noteworthy just happened at one of my favorite places nigh an hour ago.  I won’t mention the business because I don’t want to get my friends in trouble but today the type of ‘emotional transactions’ that fall under ‘withdraw’ that were handed out like candy on Halloween went something like this:

Withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-deposit-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-deposit-deposit-withdraw-deposit-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-&-deposit simultaneously-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw-withdraw…and so on [1].

It got so bad that my friend and I had to put our headphones on.  There is a significant difference between honest to goodness constructive criticism and just tossing criticism grenades cheerfully like its no big deal as the person that critiques walks away with a smile on their face and the grenades detonate.  Who doesn’t love that.

The resounding effect was that the individuals working in the place and the customers were left highly discouraged.  One can have all the subtly in the world, but when people use compliments as weapons it’s hard not to notice.

One doesn’t often see the above type of instances since these are the type of ‘discussions’ one might see in a backroom of an establishment or business if there was any consideration for tactfulness.  Still, this circumstance is something that happens more often than it should and it reflects an individual’s moral compass.

This very issue has been discussed by my friends and I at length several times, though I was never subject to it in person at this place.  Most individuals have seen a version of this circumstance take place, whether to one person, or a group of individuals, but the effect is always the same: emotional bank account get drained to a considerable degree.   Heck, I’m a decent human being, and some of the stuff said would leave me closing that emotional bank account without a second thought [2].  Nobody should be treated like that.

It’s a pity instances like this take place because there’s really no reason for it if the individual carrying out these ‘withdraws’ was a being a decent caring human being in any way whatsoever.  The ‘perfect’ book in dealing with circumstances that comes to mind is How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  This book is timeless for a reason, it works.  Let’s remain on point though.

How you treat people matters.  Obvious, no?  Except, perhaps not, since it happens far to often.

Perhaps its someone’s upbringing, maybe its ego, maybe it’s just having a bad day, but the vanguard reason matters not for the results are the same.  If choice is available, and in the above example it always is, how is it hard not to choose being a decent human being?

All the above merely comes down to quality of consciousness.  How an individual is deep down inside at the being level is merely a reflection of their inner self.  Yes, not all instances are the same, not even close.  That’s why I was highlighting the one above and being very precise in not merely picking one instance between 2 random individuals, but one in which the same scenario took place repeatedly because one can see that the established pattern; this instance is not merely a one-time thing, like ‘having a bad day’.  Lashing out because someone ‘has a bad day’, while not pleasant to be a part of, is at least understandable.

But putting people down repeatedly establishes a sequence of events that (1) is not only pleasant to be around, but more importantly (2) drains emotional bank accounts when they shouldn’t.  That’s also the leading reason why some people have quit that place.

Simply put: if an individual puts people beneath them, as the above gem of a human being did, they merely shows what they will do to get to the top of the foodchain, the proverbial mountain.

The thing about mountains is, the highest peaks are also the parts that wither away the fastest over time due to erosion.  When that happens, the mountain remains for it is the very foundation.

And nothing beats an ironclad firm foundation, for it is the crucial component of any individual, of any group, any family, any community, any enterprise and every society.

That is why it all comes down to the individual, for even though every one in this place has a reason to lash out when Darth Vader arrives, they choose not to.  That means everything for it is a reflection of who each of them are [3].

It is a reflection of what makes the world a better place, every single day.
___________________________________________________________
Notes:

[1] While the withdraw and deposit simultaneously might seem to be a joke at first blush, it’s not.  It was a ‘compliment’ (and I say this loosely) followed by an incisive critique.  If it was a fair one, that’s one thing, but really wasn’t.

[2] This doesn’t mean anyone should treat the person that carried out put-downs in the same way, not at all.  Just stating that simply because something can happen and is technically allowed, doesn’t mean one need to respond in like-fashion.   The scenario above is one of those in which an individual could often be seen just zoning out and ignoring what is being said since they know there’s no use to it and nothing positive is coming to the fore and could you blame them?

[3] Though, to be fair, I really couldn’t blame anyone that lashed out under said circumstance.

___________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:

Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
Consciousness – The Key To Life
Why A Sound Mindset Is Crucial: The Light Side Of Mindset Vs. The Dark Side Of Mindset
Mindset Mindset Mindset!
A Sound Mindset Amidst The Obstacles Of Life
Bruce Lee On Conformity & Open-Mindedness
Mindwaves & Mindfulness
Modern Misteps Meet Mindfulness
How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Investing In Yourself
Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds
Emotional Bank Accounts: Deposits & Withdraws
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Emotional Bank Accounts: I Call Your 7 Cents & Raise You A Dollar
Poker & Life: Pulling The Friend’s Card
Imagination Unleashed
IT’S A DECEPTICON!!!
The Inherent Power Of Curiosity
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

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If you find value in this information, feel free to share it.  This article is free and open source.  All individuals have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Zy Marquiez and  BreakawayIndividual.com

___________________________________________________________
About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.

Emotional Bank Accounts: Mutual Funds | #Friendship | #Life | #PositiveVibes

EarthLove
BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 7, 2019

Going along with the notion of investing into another individual’s emotional bank accounts, whether those investments are large, or small, we are going to take a slightly different vantage point, that of mutual investments.

What do I mean by that?; simply stated, individuals investing into each other’s emotional bank accounts.

To illustrate the following notion, I’m going to speak at length of 3 stories I was going to make a video about on Instagram, though I never got around to it because (1) I was uncertain about how to jam-pack 3 stories into a short video, and (2) there’s just too many intricacies to talk about that I wasn’t sure how to convey all the intricacies without overlooking something.

Starting off, the first story features my old friend Sarah, who I met at Fox & Hound a long time ago.  This establishment was a larger-than-average bar, which featured an array of games, from pool tables, darts, and other things.  One night, while I was still a neophyte to the place, I showed up during a Yankee Vs. Red Game.  I opted to arrive early and watch the game while I waited for friends at the bar.  In any case, Sarah turned out to be the bartender, and long story short, we predictably started trash talking each other in jest and goodvibes.  Yankees lost that game, and she was in cloud 9 due to all the trash talk.  Anyhow, the next day, that’s when we became friends, all because of something seemingly inconsequential.

As soon as I get to the bar, I ordered my usual, and I didn’t notice there was a note under the food I ordered.  I read the note, and it says, “I love the Yankees.  I really REALLY LOVE THE YANKEES!” and this is written within a big red heart, made out of lipstick, with an arrow right through the Yankees name.  If there was one thing Sarah was, was clever.  Laughing instantly, I smile at her man in jest, and I show him the note, and say, “She loves me man, she really loves me.”  He laughs, replying, “She loves everybody.  I really didn’t know how true that would turn out until years later.  The friendship cemented itself while we left notes for each other lathered with as much trash talk and sarcasm as you can imagine.  Sarah was the type of person that would always turn your day around.  If your day was bad, it turned good.  If it was good, it became great.  And if it was great, you were in for a fantastic time.  Those notes were the equivalent of cross-investing into each other’s ‘emotional bank accounts’, and over time we knew it meant a lot, though not until much later.

The second example involves one of my best friends Josh, who I’ve known for over ten years.  One day while driving somewhere I receive a message from Josh that was right out of the video game Assassin’s Creed.  I honestly thought the message was a poem, so I immediately replied with a poem right back, along the same lines about a brotherhood with a creed, and so on.  I was blown away with excitement that someone I knew in fact knew poetry, since poetry is one of those things that, like books, not a lot of people appreciate.  And even if they do, you would never know since it’s not one of those popular topics that gets the light of day.

This back-and-forth of writing poems to each other only cemented our friendship, and we quickly became great friends soon after.  Every single day this happened for a very long time, and it showed the range a relationship can venture too under the most random of circumstances.  Him and I still joke about being in a brotherhood and so on, at times reminiscing.  The ironic part of all this is that, what he sent wasn’t in fact a poem, but we went along with it anyways since it was so fun.  Besides the regular circumstances that help relationships grow, the main point was that those poems, those random notes we wrote to each other, were significant acts, ‘deposits’ that I will always appreciate.

The third story involves someone who I knew a long time and became my best friend eventually.   Honestly, Arianna and I bonded because she was the person that told me the bad news about a circumstance that happened during those times, nigh 15 years ago or so.  Anyhow, back then we as a society didn’t have a lot of options except leaving voice mail and so on if you couldn’t get a hold of someone.  My recollection of what phones were capable isn’t precise, but all I remember was having a small flip phone and if you couldn’t get a hold of someone, it was either texts or leaving voice messages.  Leaving a video-message like nowadays wasn’t really an option.

With that in mind, what took place was kind of random, like the above two circumstances, but it ‘changed the tide’ of our relationship from merely being friends to becoming best friends given everything that happened over the span of years.  In fact, that transformed into us sending each other lots of letters overtime, letters that I still have and hold dearly to this day.

The main circumstance that took place was that, since I had a long drive at times, I opted to leave her a message because I was having a bad day – a really bad day.  Since I wasn’t even close to finishing venting, I left another message, and another, and another, ‘till 45 minutes later, I was done venting.

Later that evening, I get like a dozen voice mails or so completely unexpected.  I thought something was wrong because there were a lot of messages, you know; not at all.  Arianna merely was being a friend, and when she was done giving advice, she went on to tell me about her day and so on.  Here I thought that (1) something was either wrong, and/or that (2) she was going to vent herself when she was done since that’s the only circumstance at the time that I could imagine someone needed to leave so many messages (shows how close-minded my imagination was back then).  From there, whether anything was wrong or not, whenever, at anytime, anywhere, if we felt like ‘talking’ to each other, and we couldn’t get a hold of each other or anything, we would just leave each other messages.  In fact, one day she capped my inbox.  I still laugh at the thought.  Sorry, it’s just still funny because it was hours worth of talking.  Not that I minded though, I appreciated it and still do more than I can convey.

It doesn’t matter though.  Nothing beats hearing the voice of a friend, particularly a best friend and/or someone you care about.

Let me ask every single one of you this: how often can you just pick up the phone, and listen to someone’s voice?  Not often, right?  Even now, you have to talk to someone for that to happen.  I value those random phone calls a whole helluva lot, and I miss all of them because all 3 circumstances might have started randomly, but they were incredibly meaningful.

All three instances served to change who I was by leaps and bounds, and only made me cognizant of the possibilities of life, which I honestly would never have considered in a million years.

In hindsight, how much are those ‘deposits’ worth?  They are all priceless.  You can’t put a price on that, on any of it.

I share this all because my life’s been a never-ending series of seemingly random circumstances that completely come out of nowhere, and before you know it, the neatest things that I never could have imagined took place.  The ironic thing is that, those aren’t things that you can just make happen whole cloth.

I’ve tried doing all three things I did with each of those friends, with other friends, people I dated and so on, and nothing ever came close.  In that sense, I think sometimes modern technology has cheapened the old sense of friendship.  Not that friends need to do the above for people to be friends, not at all.  Not even close.  It’s just that a lot is taken for granted nowadays.

These days, everyone has a friend a text away, a phone call away, and that knowledge has made people take for granted relationships of all types, and you can often see it with how people treat each other.  The most egregious example of this is how you will see a few friends, all ‘together’, and all on the damn phones.  A.  Long.  Time.  But hey, maybe that’s other people’s definition of friendship.

Each of us has to walk our own path, but that doesn’t mean that what friendship means to one person needs to be what it means to another, especially when, in the example above, it’s just so superficial.

Thankfully, not all relationships are like that.  People come and go, but no matter what, the best will always have an everlasting impact on you.  And for that, I’ll always be eternally grateful.

___________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:

How You Deposit A Truckload Of Black Pearls Into An Emotional Bank Account
How Are Your (Emotional) Bank Accounts Doing?
Emotional Bank Accounts: Gems Gems Gems, Babies Everywhere!
Imagination Unleashed
A 7 Cent Investment Into An Emotional Bank Account To Convert A Hater?
What Do You Find Inspiring?
Poker FlashBack: Swimming With Sharks, Swimming With Whales
Imagination Rises Out Of The Jaws Of Defeat
What’s Your Story?
You The Individual Are Author Of Your Own Journey, Of Your Own Destiny
Harry Potter Fans Trash Talk?  Say WHAT?!
Consciously Creating The Road Of Change, The World Of Tomorrow
Wings Are Made To Fly, Seeds Are Made To Grow
What Are Your Personal Defaults?
Have You Ever Walked On The Moon?
The Opening Salvo, The First Minute
The Seeds Of Today, The World Of Tomorrow
Assumptions Are Mother Of All F@!$ Ups
Piercing Perspectives #1: Taking Things For Granted | Health & Mindset
Piercing Perspectives #2: You The Individual Are Extraordinary
Piercing Perspectives #3: The Divide & Conquer Left Right Paradigm
Piercing Perspectives #4: Poker As A Mirror For Life
The Individual, The Foundation Of Society

___________________________________________________________
If you find value in this information, feel free to share it.  This article is free and open source.  All individuals have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Zy Marquiez and  BreakawayIndividual.com

___________________________________________________________
About The Author:

Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.