“A prizefighter who gets knocked out or is badly outclassed suffers in a way he will never forget.”
– Floyd Patterson
BreakawayIndividual.com
Zy Marquiez
April 2, 2019
Very recently, I sat down at a Starbucks and immediately after sitting down the person next to me starts a conversation. I go onto to ask what she is reading and so on, and she tells me Harry Potter. She happened to be rereading Harry Potter for the umpteenth time (her quote). I go on and state that the entire series has been sitting on my desk for years, unread…
…and this is where the battle ensues. No warning, no flash of lightning, no puff of smoke, nothing. She unleashes an automatic grenade launcher of Rambo-like trash talk – grenade after grenade, explosion after explosion, trash talking like you wouldn’t believe.
The conversation was like two people playing hot potatoes, except, with live grenades, and, you don’t know its hot potato. NOT ONLY DOES SHE KEEP LOBBING GRENADES MY WAY, BUT THEY’RE LIVE AND BEFORE I CAN DITCH THE FIRST ONE, THE SECOND GRENADE’S INCOMING, AND THE THIRD, AND…..
…it doesn’t stop there. It was so relentless I felt like a fledgling, a rank amateur of the first order.
In fact, I felt like a submarine, unarmed without any torpedoes (and all I needed was ONE to sink that cruiser!) going at 1 knot, while she kept lobbing depth charges by the dozens from her cozy Battle Cruiser from above. Yeah, the fish in a barrel thought never had a more accurate representation, truly.
She talked the most serious trash – and was quite good at it, and she knew it – that I have ever seen any Harry Potter fan talk. In fact, of anybody, ever. Believe me, believe me, I’ve heard good trash talking, great in rare circumstances. But the tornado she unleashed on me left me seriously outclassed in every single way. I only hung by a thread and that’s because I kept throwing analogies at her from myriad directions and thankfully enough stuck that the conversation became hilarious and fun. By orders of magnitude she blew out of the water every single Harry Potter’s fans trash talking. She, like Yoda, was in a realm of her own.
Where some of the better trash talking Harry Potter fans would bring a fleet – an ARMADA – of Tai Fighters to a fight, she’d just park a fleet of Death Stars in Orbit around you, NOT LOCKING ONTO YOU, THE PLANETARY TARGET, ON PURPOSE (that would be too easy, way too easy). She would simply fire shot after shot across your bow, not to destroy you, no. Just to make a point. It hurt, it really did. Someone forgot to tell my ego not to jump in a pool of gasoline and try and juggle fire thereafter.
While the average Harry Potter fan – that I’ve met anyways – can be a bit reserved, though a joy to talk too, she was the perfect mix of fairy dust, and Deadshot. Capable of sprinkling imagination via trash talking like it was rain, but, with trash talking skills that would make any professional marksmen proud.
You want another analogy? Why not, we’re on a roll here. I felt like a child walking into Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen serving an overcooked burger. That’s a fantastic bundle of 20 mistakes all wrapped into one enormous one. Choosing to impress Gordon Ramsey with a burger? Mistake #1. Overcooking it? OVERCOOKING A BURGER? (Mistakes 2 through 20).
Verbal Jui-Jitsu was never practiced at Strabucks with more efficiency.
Why is all this relevant? BECAUSE THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WAS BASED AROUND IMAGINATION. (Sorry about the autopilot capslock – I still feel like I’m yelling at her. Just kidding. We didn’t yell at each other, not even a little bit.) Many wouldn’t consider trash talking an exercise in imagination, but you’ll never know what you will imagine until your pinned against the wall, and pressure lets you know exactly what you’re made of, whether its trash talking, or any other circumstance in life.
And the pressure of letting a HARRY POTTER FAN SMASH YOU TO PIECES INTO THE GROUND, kicking you over and over and over, OH, THE TERROR. But seriously, hanging from a thread never felt more glorious in my life. A THREAD I TELL YOU! I couldn’t wait for anybody, ANYBODY, to save me from drowning. But the verbal sparing match began, and I wasn’t about to back away – no matter how bad I was getting run over. (You learn something new every day in life. Today? I learned what road kill feels like.)
Speaking of hanging by a thread, you think she would let me balance on that thread? NOPE! Walking the tightrope was never an option, not an option whatsoever. She made me hang by a thread and she was enjoying it. Thankfully I didn’t fall into an untimely death – but at least I have a newfound respect for Harry Potter fans. (REJOICE!)
Back to imagination: have you ever been under pressure, regardless of the circumstance, and had imagination bail you out in ways you didn’t think possible? I’m sure you have, but perhaps never thought of it as imagination and were merely going on instinct. Instinct or not, it’s irrelevant, for if you can’t imagine something, you can’t make it true.
This is why imagination is crucial, for it offers many solutions an individual might have never considered.
And while the above was merely an exercise in trash talking (or pretending on my part), the point remains: if you ever end up facing an obstacle – whether it is foreseen or not – having the latitude to employ imagination and intellectual faculties in myriad ways can save your neck.
You want to know how the story ends? NO WAY I TELL YOU. You sadistic, masochistic person you! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. Who likes seeing a person drown! SHAME ON YOU.
Ya’ll need to go back to work – or whatever it is ya’ll are doing – and go imagine yourself walking your happy selves off of a….
Okay okay, I need to relax. Wooza. My mind screams: mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness! She is gone, after all (Or is she?). But the remnants of the devastation she unleashed and has left in her wake? Oh, no. Never. Those will echo into eternity…
…just like imagination.
Who would have thought a Harry Potter fan could toy with someone’s soul like Shang Sung, from Mortal Kombat? Never in a million years!
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#HarryPotterFansSaveTakeLives
#FriendsDontLetFriendsTrashTalkHarryPotterFansEver
#VerbalJuiJitsu
#Starbucks
#StarbucksDiaries
#TrashTalking101
#TrashTalking202
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#TrashTalking404
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#Humor
#Jokes
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About The Author:
Zy Marquiez is an avid book reviewer, inquirer, an open-minded skeptic, yogi, and freelance writer who aims at empowering individuals while also studying and regularly mirroring subjects like Consciousness, Education, Creativity, The Individual, Ancient History & Ancient Civilizations, Forbidden Archaeology, Big Pharma, Alternative Health, Space, Geoengineering, Social Engineering, Propaganda, and much more.
